Me, Now
I woke up as a bull
for four months
grinding
defeating
enduring
I woke as a cocoon
for a year or more
breathing dirt, sliding down silver
squeezing mud through
donkey fingers
that have touched pearls
no one has seen
molding constant death
into a womb
I woke as a cricket
in vaporous days
one month
another
and 19 more
I woke to a vicious heart
that i TORE
& ate
vomited
held
emptied my pride to
& planned so many days
of forever
with
I woke in love
& slept in hate
holding myself
while merely touching her
galloping to a fight
& diving into love
taken from ether
shown in mirrors
far more beautiful
than I will ever be
I woke to a pasty reflection
8 months or 40 more
swallowing physics, optics, languages
white dust of numbers
symbols
for some score
I breathed air from a sea
my family has never seen
I ate women from lands
theyd never been
I woke with commercial eyes
that decoded the puzzle
& laughed at the question
people never asked
I saw fur on a corpse
from a night too long
& people screamed in outrage
at nature in a man made form
that brought them here
to scream
I woke to an orange sun
6 months of respectable fun
thinking
adults are this
not so bad
as women became men
who always wanted to be
women
cum was sold
at the price of a jacket
& the drop of a shoe
molecules were manipulated
to do as we told
waves pressed my skin
raptured my soul
& I
LEFT
to wake in ignorance
of why I wanted these things
in a brown, green country
that still touches me
like the breath of a ghost
that owns your tears
I woke, walked, & never whined
through rectangles, squares,
lines with no names
that all fell in a
category
you were taught &
swallow
tomorrow
today
the next day
& hey
I woke in an igloo
built on Cape Cod
with dirt, slurry, sweat, & wood
not thinking
not caring
not believing
like a tag
on a dog
they gave
& took
& shoveled
& covered
though the adults know
all their fuck ups
are passed through you
I woke as a wasp
for 13 Septembers
fed sawdust & paste
& told where to go
cept the day I was a
caterpillar & wiggled all around
eating
smelling
seeing
slowly knowing it
ALL
till they told me
the way
& I had to wait
until the day
I woke as a cocoon
& doppled to a bull
that will swing like a
butterfly
some day
when I wake
to see
it all